As summer comes to a close, I have been skipping the gym to hang out with friends at all of Albany’s infamous bars and restaurants, preferably ones with out door patios. Let me say, a few hours at the Wolff’s Biergarten can get a girl in trouble, i.e. the past few Saturday mornings I woke up with a pounding in my head – otherwise known as a hang over.
Somewhat concerned that I’m on the verge of becoming an alcoholic, I decided to take the test on AA- Are you an Alcoholic? The results:
1. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? Friday night is restricted to girls only. It’s a rule. I think this offends Sam.
2. Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare? No.
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? I talk more – does that count?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? I don’t remember falling down and making an ass of myself recently – but I do that without booze.
5. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble? I don’t think so.
6. Do you drink alone? Ha. Sometimes.
7. Have you lost time from work due to drinking? Never.
8. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? I wouldn’t consider myself very ambitious to begin with – so no.
9. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking? Only while drinking.
10. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business? I wish was still unemployed because then I could say – Not applicable.
11. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? Not unless there is inappropriate hugging and a toilet involved.
12. Are you in financial difficulties as a result of drinking? When you go to teh same bar every week you tend to receive some free drinks – although my wallet is inevitably lighter after I’ve left a bar. However, I’m working on this.
13. Do you turn to or seek an inferior environment when drinking? No — I’m classy all the way.
14. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? Friday at 5 pm is definitely a problem.
15. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping? Only when I wake up at 6 am with a migraine from the previous night. I think that counts, right?
16. Do you want a drink the next morning? Good grief – No. I want a pile of pancakes to soak up all that vodka I drank the night before.
17. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? No.
18. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking? Of course. Not.
19. Has your doctor ever treated you for drinking? No.
20. Have you ever been in hospital or prison because of drinking? Ha. Not yet, but I try not to wear heals while drinking.
I’m not sure I agree with their scoring method:
If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic.
If you have answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.
The words “warning,” “chances are,” and “definitely” seem a bit harsh. I think it’s all about how much fun you have.
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