If you’re an alcohol lover like myself, then you should totally watch my favorite alcoholic, Zane Lamprey, on his show Three Sheets.
A few months ago, I was very upset when Time Warner Cable removed the MOJO channel from their list of TV stations. Missing my drunken crush, Zane, I did some research and discovered the show would be back on a new channel, Fine Living. Did I mention they would be showing episodes of Three Sheets every night of the week?
While he travels around the world, drinking various alcohol concoctions, Zane enlightens the audience about the local drinking customs and culture. Throughout the show there are wonderful chugging and gulping sound effects that make me so thirsty. Zane travels with his stuffed monkey, Pleepleus, and sometimes he is known to wear Pleepleus t-shirts, which I think is kind of cute. The monkey’s comment to drinking, “While I’ve never tasted beer, I have bathed in it.”
The number one reason why the show is great for alcoholics is becase Zane has created a drinking game with few rules, and here they are, as stated by the drunk himself:
Rule 1: When I drink, you drink.
Rule 2: The first person to spot Pleepleus the monkey gets to make someone else drink.
Rule 3: When I mention my friend, Steve McKenna, or when his photo pops up, everyone drinks.
Rule 4: When I burp, the last person to give the “Good Burp” sign (thumb on your forehead, pinky in the air) drinks. When the show is on, it’s only my burps that count as part of the game. But when you’re not watching the show it applies to anyone who’s drinking.
Rule 5: If someone in the show “Jim-The-Cops” (spills their beverage while drinking) it’s a social. However, if YOU Jim-The-Cop, you have to buy someone a drink. If you’re watching at home, or a friend’s house, it’s your turn to make a run to the fridge. If you Jim-The-Cop while in a chugging contest (as sophomoric as that is), you get three seconds added to your time.
Rule 6: If you ever spot me holding a drink improperly, you can make someone drink. Here are the proper positions:
FOO FOO DRINK: This would be a drink that masks the taste of alcohol with the taste of sugar. They are sweet, blended, brightly colored, or have an umbrella in them. In this case, my pinky should be up in the air.
MAN-GRIP DRINK: This is a general drink, like a Beer, Jack & Coke, Vodka Cranberry, where the sweetness doesn’t hide the taste of alcohol. In this case, all of my fingers should be in contact with the glass.
GENTLEMAN DRINK: Think Frank Sinatra. This is a straight-up spirit, like Bourbon, Scotch, Tequila, or anything else that is not cut (except by water, vermouth, or club soda). All fingers should be on the glass except for the index finger– It should be pointing out with confidence.
Oh yeah, if you’re worried about all the alcohol consumption, don’t worry each episode there is a new hang over cure.
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